Sacrifice

I have been down for 3 weeks tomorrow. Today, I lost it for just a little while. I was crying, and feeling useless, sick, stuck in a chair, unable to help J get ready for his dad to come in tomorrow. Just really feeling sorry for myself. I even posted a pitiful "ugh" on Facebook hoping to get some sympathy from my friends. (which I got)

My night, last night, consisted of sleeping from 10-12, waking up miserable, tossing and turning (as much as you can in a recliner) moaning, and asking J to please wake up and move Eli out of our bed and help me try to sleep in it. That move occurred at 1:45. Then I laid there until 2:30 at which time I finally fell asleep. Wide awake and in pain, I had to wake J up at 7, to help me to the restroom. I decided I might as well go back to the recliner and let him sleep awhile. I needed to take some Tylenol, and therefore needed something in my stomach. I asked nicely for some cereal, and I heard him getting it ready for me. He knows that I only like the little spoons when I eat cereal. There were not any clean, and I heard him washing me a little spoon. He didn't say a word about washing the spoon, being exhausted, which he is, he didn't say anything about NEVER getting a whole nights sleep for 3 weeks. About taking care of my potty chair. (I would never do a #2 in there...sorry if that is too much info, but I'm just sayin.) He just gently got me arranged in my chair, got my breakfast, ice water, medicine, the remotes, and asked if he could do anything else for me. He told me he loved me and went back to bed.

This is just one very small example of the sacrifices that J has made over the last 3 weeks. In our almost 14 years of marriage, I have never been down like this. When I had my babies, my mom was there to take care of things until I got back on my feet. He has been down a few times, his stomach ailment, a dirt bike accident, a broken arm, etc. During those times he has been a wonderful patient. Now, he has been a wonderful caretaker, much better than I ever was to him. I hate to admit it, but it has surprised me.

You see, I am a doer, I like to do (almost) all the work around the house. I have never asked him to help out with things like laundry, cooking, etc. Typically, he comes home to a clean house and a warm home cooked meal, and I even make his plate & cut his meat. I don't know why, I just do. And, I love it.

In the last few years many things have changed in our marriage. We have both learned how to love each other better than ever before. One of the things J tells me often is "I love you fervently, and I am going to be by your side taking care of you until the day I die." I have to admit that I have struggled w/ believing that he would really "take care of me". I still have insecurity issues from the past hurts, and often I need to be re-assured. I will look him in the eyes, and ask, "are you sure your in love with me?" Honestly, I can not be told that enough.

One of the lessons God has taught me these last 3 weeks is that J IS going to take care of me. He has spent these weeks hovering over me. Lifting me off the chair, EVERY time I had to get up, bringing my med's and water, making mine & the kids plates before his own, sponge bathing me, doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning toilets, putting on my sock & shoe, helping me in and out of the van, emptying my throw-up bowl, caring for/loving our kids, adjusting the pillows under my leg, and many, many more things. He has done all of this patiently, and lovingly. He has not once lost his cool, or made me feel inferior, or like a nuisance. He has told me over and over that he loves me, and right now I am what is most important.

I just want to say, Thank You, J.D., I think you are wonderful!

Mil Besos!

13 Years Ago

13 years ago today, I stood by a friends pool and said, "I do". I really had no idea what all that would mean. We have had the sickness, the poorer, the bad times, the sorrow.

We have also had the health, been richer, had good times and joy.

I am so glad that I looked into the most wonderful brown eyes and said those words 13 years ago today.

I would marry you again in a second, J.D.

I love you!

Happy Anniversary!

Why?

I just sent my J this email.

You are exceedingly sweet and will get extra kisses.

Why?

Because, on his way home, he is going to pick up my favorite sub from Subway. A club with no cheese, lots of extra banana peppers, red wine vinegar, and salt and pepper.

I just love that guy!

My Love

Happy Birthday, My Love

You love our God,
You love our family,
You make us all laugh,
You are my best friend,
Die Hard Florida Gators fan,
You are very handsome...hot actually,
You are easy going,
Fun!
Responsible...you work so hard for us,
Romantic!
Cubs fan,
You are my compartner,
You complete me!

Mil Besos!

Yours Forever,
Heather Kay

When Your Broke and You Have A Date

A good friend of mine invited my kids to spend the afternoon and night with her family yesterday. This set J and I up for a date. Only problem was, we had no $ to spare. So, this is what we did. Went to get our necessary groceries. Drove thru Chick-fil-A for a cheap dinner. Put the groceries away and went on a long drive down a dirt road.

The long drive was my favorite part. We took a plastic bowl a piece and both looked carefully out the window for blackberries. We have not had rain here in a couple weeks, and it has been very hot, so the blackberries are kind've small and hard to find this year. I have hope that this week will be better, because just last night we had a good soaking rain.

These roads were not new to us. Our first little house was on this road. At one point we had a 4 wheeler and we spent many fun hours exploring all of the dirt roads surrounding ours. We had 2 places with swimming holes and fun memories. We drove by the spot of J's dirt bike accident. When I was pregnant with our daughter we would walk each evening down this dirt road. The blackberries were plentiful that year. We always had a sack with us and came home with it brimming with juicy, ripe berries. Such sweet memories!


We came across this herd of cows and I thought the little white calf was so cute, I couldn't resist getting a picture. J took it with his iPhone. If you click on the picture it will enlarge so you can see the calf better, it's over on the right.

I am still learning how to put the pictures up and put script around them where I want, and I can not figure out how to end this post under the picture of the cows. So, I will end it here. UGH!

Have a happy, safe 4th!

Romance...The Birds and the....

Thank you all for your prayers and comments yesterday. I had a good day. I cleaned around the house and cleaned the garage. The garage was a huge project that took me 2 hours but it was so nice to have all that extra room after the garage sale. We sold a ping pong table and a few other big items that had been taking up a lot of space. Quick tip...I actually learned this from an interview with Heather Locklear once. When you get your garage to the point of sweeping, if you have a leaf blower, just start at the back and blow all of the stuff out of your garage. It is a wonderful time saver and looks better than any sweeping job!

J and I took our walk last night and had a nice evening. We prayed as usual before bed, I prayed myself back to sleep as usual at 3:30. We have a spoiled Pomeranian who needs to go "outside" about that time and I got up with her. Then I had a nightmare. I am so tired of these nightmares. I know that the root issue is conquering the bad thoughts from the past during the day. I also know how to do that, sometimes I am just so WEAK!!!

Now for the romance, I know you have to be wondering!

I have never been impressed with "typical romance". I love flowers, but not necessarily in a vase. I'm not impressed with an overpriced box of chocolates or a fancy dinner. Actually my favorite date is when J and I split a sub from Subway and walk our outside mall or Best Buy, or Kohl's, and just enjoy each other. J often leaves me a note on paper that has been ripped off a grocery list or an old envelope. These notes are romance. Above all of that the most romantic thing he does for me is to pray for me. This morning he asked me if there was anything he could do for me. I said no. He then replied, "let me pray for you", he took my hand and he poured his heart out to our great God. He asked Him to let me see the truth of his love for me. He asked Him to comfort my heart today. This is romance. This is what makes me feel like Cinderella.

Now for the birds and the bees.

I don't have any bees but I do have birds a plenty! I love to feed hummingbirds. I have been feeding them for many years now. I am one of those complete nut cases with hummingbirds swarming my house. I have had people stop their cars to watch them come July when they are the most plentiful. They are back early this year. In our area they usually show up in mid May. This will mean buying a bit of extra sugar this year. The photo's of the hummers below were taken this morning. The barn swallow in the nest was taken the other day. That is my front porch and I think/hope it will be a fun experience to have them coming and going this nesting season.

God has always spoke to me through the majesty of His creation. Many times I will see a bird or animal while I am driving, that others may have missed, and I just stop to thank the Lord for it. This morning, shortly after I awoke and sat in my chair, two Baltimore Oriole's landed on my hummingbird feeders. They are beautiful birds! Seeing them was a gift from the Lord to brighten my day. It was awesome!

Barn Swallow On Nest

Female Ruby Throat

Male Ruby Throat

I know the pic's are not the best quality, they were taken through my front window.

Here's to a Blessed Tuesday!

Heather Kay