Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Painful Night

First, the movie Race to Witch Mountain, was really good. My kids are 9 & 11, my sister's are 10, 11, and 19 and they all enjoyed it.

Now back to the story, the three months during the affair were very depressing, confusing months for me. We had moved to an empty parsonage at another church about 20 minutes from the new church. Our house had not sold so we could not get settled in our new town. It was not close enough for J to come home for lunch, but close enough that he was going into work everyday. He was pulling away from the kids and I, I just thought it was being so busy and not seeing each other as often as before. I was very unhappy but I really didn't understand why.

One night while on vacation, I had a terrible dream that while we were there, J was having an affair, and emailing back and forth with his phone.
(this is exactly what was happening) I woke up sobbing and told J about it. He of course denied it, but later said it was God trying to get through to him.

Although this was a very hard time for me, my relationship with the Lord was very deep and sweet. I had learned to rely on Him, and in many ways, He had prepared me for this darkest time of my life. The day J and O (for other person) came to tell me what was going on, I was in shock. I did suspect that J was having an affair, although I was in supreme denial, but I never thought it would be O. When he told me, I know the Holy Spirit led me to ask him to stay with me that night. I just said, "promise me you'll stay with me tonight, you owe me that". He promised. This, I believe, changed our lives.

J & O walked away from her spouse and I to talk and while I watched them I could see so clearly that J was in a trap. This changed my heart. When he first told me I just thought it's over and I'm done with him. That night was the most painful night of my life. However, the Lord never left my side.

It was a Wednesday so we went to the church for J to resign. He stood in front of the church and I was in the back with some ladies around me and they were saying things about J & O. I knew I needed to say something. This WAS NOT J's character. He has never been a liar, he loved the Lord, and I knew that Satan had taken down someone he considered a big threat. I did stand in front of the church and defend my husband. After church two couples had a huge impact on us. One came forward and took our kids for the night. The other couple sat with us and shared their own testimony of recovering from an affair in their past.

By the time we got home J was so exhausted, he hadn't really had a restful nights sleep in so long with all of the lies and sin in his life. We talked a little while and he fell asleep hard. I did not sleep at all that night. I talked to the Lord all night long. I would have waves of extreme panic and then the Lord would bring a sudden peace back to me.

I am going to pick up here tomorrow.

Heather Kay

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