There are several lessons both of us learned to late:
In our ministry we always worked hard for the Lord and the church. We never worked together as a team. He taught his classes, I taught mine. We rarely even saw each other at church.
In our marriage we both thought we were meeting each others needs. We were both wrong.
I had closed off my heart years earlier and brought the fear of rejection and hurt into my marriage.
I was never open with my feelings. He would have to drag them out of me.
We were very close friends with the other person. He was in a work situation with her and allowed her to share to many secret personal things with him. Keeping all of these secrets eventually led to Satan ensnaring my husband.
Pride truly does come before a fall.
I always felt like if he just met my needs we would be fine. I really thought I was not the problem. Selfishness got in my way. My husband was starved for his wife's attention, affection, and overall approval. Satan knew this would be J's downfall. He knew right where to attack and he attacked hard and fast.
We are all susceptible to attacks on our marriage. Do not ever think a person of the opposite sex is "out of the question". My husband, nor I, would have ever thought she would have been a problem. That is how Satan works. He knew that J and I would be on guard for the obvious.
I can't wait to tell you of the wonderful ways God was real to me following the affair.