Saturday, March 28, 2009

Interruption and Continuation

I interrupt this stream of posts to say that in real time, (Jack Bauer style) I am having nightmares. I have a 9 yr old son and he has been in the most terrible danger in the last 3 of 5 of my dreams. The other 2 were horrible dreams from the damage done to my marriage. I am really praying for some relief and some sleep!!

Okay where was I? J.D. had just started his new job and he called me (I was still traveling for WM) and told me about this wonderful news that he had just been saved. I was very angry about this. I did not want anything to do with God or the church. He was so excited! He was a new believer and on fire for the Lord. Everything he learned he wanted to share and I just wanted to run. You will learn from my story that I am a strong-willed child. I have learned many things the hard way!!

When J.D. found out we were "living in sin" he immediately said he was going to move out or we were getting married. I agreed to get married. We had a very small wedding not even giving our relatives time to make arrangements to come. Honestly, this is what I wanted. I never dreamed of a fairy tale wedding. I wanted to wear blue jeans and carry my beloved dog, Lassie, down the aisle. Well my dog had been gone for about 7 years and I did have enough sense to wear a dress.

By the way the pastor who married us did a little pre-marital counseling and did ask about our salvation's but I knew all the right words to say. I mean I was even a kid who went out and told others about the Lord. I knew the Romans Road by heart.

Shortly after we were married J.D. wanted to start going to church. I feel so embarrassed to tell you how ugly I was about it. I would fight with J.D. not to go. We were attending a Sunday School class and the pastor was going through some witnessing material and in it you had to write your testimony. When I went to write my testimony I knew it was not real.

I had taken a job close to home so I was not traveling any more. One night while driving home from work a semi truck swerved into my lane. I missed being hit but was very shaken. In the moments after that experience I knew very strongly that if I had been hit and killed I would have gone to hell. I told J.D. about it, but he, knowing my church background, thought maybe I just needed to rededicate my life to Jesus. He knew that I had walked an aisle as a 12 yr old and been baptized.

Well that was not the answer and I knew it. However, I let it stop me from making a decision for the Lord for a few miserable weeks. Then Dec 15, 1996 I was in church on a Sunday night and I knew I had to do something. I was ready to do whatever it took to get some peace. I went forward during the invitation and gave my life to Christ. I wish I could say that it totally softened my heart but it did not. I was just so cynical towards the actual church and it's people. I would say, for to long I looked up to men and now I'm looking to God. Now this is exactly what we should do but I had not resolved my "men" issues. Poor J.D.!!

Tomorrow-J.D.'s call to preach and my call for a divorce!



  1. Love your blog! I will be back!

  2. I am new to your blog and am just catching up on your history. I am hoping that your nightmares have been resolved. If not I hope it will help you to know that during a very difficult time in my life Satan attacked me through nightmares. He couldn't get me in the day when I was vigilant and praying so he used his more subtile methods to "take me out". Keeping me awake all night several nights a week so that I had plenty of time alone to worry. Then during the days I was so exhausted that I was an easier target and totally uneffective for the Lord or my family. It was so simple, when I finally simply prayed for the Lord to not let Satan have that stronghold in my life and to restore my sleep for HIS glory. I never have nightmares now, it has been over 10 years, and I can count the nights of insominia since on just one hand. I will pray for your rest tonight and I hope this will be a help to you.

  3. Hi Heather! I saw you had commented on my blog, so now I am learning about you. I'm enjoying these background posts so far, and am looking forward to reading more. By the way, you gave your life to Christ on my birthday! :)

  4. Hello Chili Pepper,
    Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I really appreciate your prayers. I did sleep well last night. I have been through the sleepless nights also. I used to read to try to take my mind off of things. I learned to just leave the light off and pray, pray, pray. I start with my immediate family and move on to my close friends. Most of the time I am back to sleep by then. I will definitely continue to take this situation to the Lord.
    Thank you very much for your prayers and encouragement!

  5. Hello Amy,
    How awesome to celebrate our b'days together! I was born on October 27th you weren't by any chance saved that day? :)
    Thank you for your comment it is so nice to know when someone is reading!