I interrupt this stream of posts to say that in real time, (Jack Bauer style) I am having nightmares. I have a 9 yr old son and he has been in the most terrible danger in the last 3 of 5 of my dreams. The other 2 were horrible dreams from the damage done to my marriage. I am really praying for some relief and some sleep!!
Okay where was I? J.D. had just started his new job and he called me (I was still traveling for WM) and told me about this wonderful news that he had just been saved. I was very angry about this. I did not want anything to do with God or the church. He was so excited! He was a new believer and on fire for the Lord. Everything he learned he wanted to share and I just wanted to run. You will learn from my story that I am a strong-willed child. I have learned many things the hard way!!
When J.D. found out we were "living in sin" he immediately said he was going to move out or we were getting married. I agreed to get married. We had a very small wedding not even giving our relatives time to make arrangements to come. Honestly, this is what I wanted. I never dreamed of a fairy tale wedding. I wanted to wear blue jeans and carry my beloved dog, Lassie, down the aisle. Well my dog had been gone for about 7 years and I did have enough sense to wear a dress.
By the way the pastor who married us did a little pre-marital counseling and did ask about our salvation's but I knew all the right words to say. I mean I was even a kid who went out and told others about the Lord. I knew the Romans Road by heart.
Shortly after we were married J.D. wanted to start going to church. I feel so embarrassed to tell you how ugly I was about it. I would fight with J.D. not to go. We were attending a Sunday School class and the pastor was going through some witnessing material and in it you had to write your testimony. When I went to write my testimony I knew it was not real.
I had taken a job close to home so I was not traveling any more. One night while driving home from work a semi truck swerved into my lane. I missed being hit but was very shaken. In the moments after that experience I knew very strongly that if I had been hit and killed I would have gone to hell. I told J.D. about it, but he, knowing my church background, thought maybe I just needed to rededicate my life to Jesus. He knew that I had walked an aisle as a 12 yr old and been baptized.
Well that was not the answer and I knew it. However, I let it stop me from making a decision for the Lord for a few miserable weeks. Then Dec 15, 1996 I was in church on a Sunday night and I knew I had to do something. I was ready to do whatever it took to get some peace. I went forward during the invitation and gave my life to Christ. I wish I could say that it totally softened my heart but it did not. I was just so cynical towards the actual church and it's people. I would say, for to long I looked up to men and now I'm looking to God. Now this is exactly what we should do but I had not resolved my "men" issues. Poor J.D.!!
Tomorrow-J.D.'s call to preach and my call for a divorce!