Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I have been wondering where my blog would go once I caught up my story. The answer is I'm really not sure. I think I will share some of the verses that are on my fridge. Many months after the affair I asked myself if I had truely forgiven J & O. I knew that it would be a sin to harbor anger in my heart and hurt me more than it would hurt them anyway.

I struggled with forgiving J for quite awhile. I could say the words, but the hurt/bitterness would come back in my heart and I would just want to lash out at him. I had a dear friend (Mrs. D) in her 80's who was very sick. One night I sat with her at the hospital. She was honestly out of her head, however, she spoke the Holy Spirit's words to me for about 2 hours that night. She would quote verses and talk to me about her relationship with the Lord. Then she would say, over and over, "do not ever make J.D. feel ashamed, he has enough shame already". I always listened when she talked.

I memorized Philippians 4:8 within days of coming back home. It says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things."

Whenever I wanted to meditate on the details of the betrayal that had been done against me, I would have to go to these verses. I also memorized I Corinthians 13 again, it meant more to me than ever before. Love suffers long and is kind...does not rejoice in iniquity...bears all things...LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Here are some verses I came across that are on my fridge. I really don't remember where I first found them, could have been a book, could have just been a personal study.

Proverbs 3:29
"Do not devise evil against your neighbor, for he dwells by you for safety's sake."
I read this: Do no dig up the past against your husband, for he needs the safety of your love at home.

Proverbs 16:27
"An ungodly man digs up evil, And it is on his lips like a burning fire."
I read this: Heather, you are my child, you have no right to spew evil accusations against your husband. I, God, have forgiven him. (I John 1:9)

Proverbs 17:9
"He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends."
I read this: Forgive and move on, do not beat up, mope about, and make your husband pay.

Now, I am not preaching, I have failed, (many times during pms) to follow what I am saying here. The pain is real, but our God is bigger that the pain!

I know that many of you reading my blog have never been through an affair. Maybe you need to forgive a family member or friend. We will never have the joy of our salvation until we get that bitterness out of our heart's!

Heather Kay


  1. Thanks for your comment on my blog. Your story is very poignant. Thank you for sharing with others the hope of forgiveness. I'm sure it seemed impossible that you could ever forgive your husband or the other woman. But God is so into the impossible! What an awesome testimony and ministry you have!

  2. Rene',
    Thank you for stopping by! I am encouraged by your strong faith. I will be praying for your parents situation.

  3. Heather~

    Thank you so much for your honesty and your reminder on forgiveness. Needed to read that today.


  4. Thank you so much for sharing this. I used to keep a rubberband on my wrist and snap it everytime I started to dwell on what happened, it worked!

  5. Some of us are on the ones who needed forgiveness! I'm thankful you were able to forgive and work through this. I haven't read much of your blog, so I don't know the story, but I have read enough to see that you are indeed a forgiving wife!

    Because being on the other side, I will say that your husband suffers consequences every day of his life. Or at least I do! Even though it was many years ago and my own marriage ended.

    I look forward to visiting you again!