After Bubba's birth we settled into a new form of normal. J was back to working, school, and preaching. Bubba was a pretty normal, colicky, baby until after his first set of shots. I was breastfeeding, and just could not figure out what to eat that would not make him fussy, and projectile vomit, every time I fed him. He woke up most mornings, about 5, screaming in pain. I was so exhausted.
The bills from J's medical experience were phenomenal! I had a notebook where I had them broke down by hospital, (there were 3) Dr., Specialist, procedure, etc. etc. There were well over 30 bills coming in each month. This was stressful, but, we were just sending what we could each month, (usually $10.00 a bill) and we were making it. Then the hospital here decided they were going to sue us for the balance of our bill. We had nothing, so, they would garnish J's wages. We were already living as tightly as we could.
My parents knew I needed a break, and offered to fly the kids and I down for a vacation. J's mom took care of his ticket. He was supposed to meet us for the last week and then we would fly back together. I am still not sure how I survived that experience. I learned on that trip that both of my children experience severe ear pressure when landing in an airplane. We had a layover that was purely miserable. I had a double stroller and at one point the babies car seat toppled off the top of it. (with him in it) It was supposed to secure into the stroller, but, who knows what happened. The people at my gate were looking at me and I could just hear them thinking.... I can not believe I got stuck with her and those babies on this flight! The flight was miserable, and when we landed, a lady actually walked by and said something very rude about the fact that I had no business flying with those babies. I wish I could remember her exact words but I have blocked them out.
Well that vacation was no pleasure trip either. Doodle decided to revolt, and, without her dad there to back me up, I was sunk. She was almost 3 and had decided that she did not need to obey me. Bubba had his shots right before we left, and he had a bad reaction to them. I took him to the E.R. at a different hospital than we had used for J because of our bad experience. I believe that is where he contracted clostridium difficile. The place was dirty and we were left with him screaming and feverish for hours in a room waiting on a Dr.. Shortly after that night he began having the black, tarry stools. He went from hard baby to impossible.
During this "vacation" I hardly slept. But, I was finally calling out to God for help. I was faithfully reading my Bible, praying, and asking God for wisdom. One day he gave me this verse:
I Peter 5:10 "But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."
I took comfort in those words. I was hoping that my suffering was about over. That I could get out of the valley of despair I had been in for months.
God had another plan. Shortly before J was supposed to fly down to meet me, he was hit head on by a driver who ran a stop sign. The car was totaled and he had hurt his neck. He was not able to come to Florida. I was at my wits end!! I just could not believe God would do this to me. I had figured out that He was in control of everything. I just could not understand His logic with this one.
My flight home was much like the trip down, with one exception. During the landing on the second flight, the nicest business man turned around, seeing I had my hands full with both crying kids, he offered to take Bubba and let me get my things together. He was so kind! For his trouble the little guy vomited all over him. I was so embarrassed! The man said it was okay, he was a dad, and glad he could help me out. I was so relieved to get off that plane.
Sidenote: I did not fly alone with both kids again for several years!!!
When I got back home I took Bubba to our Dr. and we got the diagnosis. He also could not eat anything! This is going to sound crazy but all I could give him that did not have him screaming in pain was formula and sweet potatoes. He also had night terrors. The only way to get him to come out of them was to drive him in the car. The change of scenery seemed to help.
I am going to wrap up this post and finish the Bubba story tomorrow. I just didn't realize how long this was going to take.
Because of J's injury the insurance company wanted to settle with him. We consulted a christian lawyer friend of ours. We were not out to make money, we just wanted to make sure that things went fairly on both ends. Amazingly, we rec'd a check from the insurance in the amount we needed to pay off most of the bills we had from J's illness. The check came in the same week we were going to court with the hospital. This was the first time God showed me specifically that He was at work in my life in a big way. After being so angry with Him about J's accident, and then finding that He had this plan all along. I just had to get on my knees, and repent of my lack of faith. This is the beginning of my walk with Him that has brought me here today.